To All You WONDERFUL (twat) Instagrammers and Your Perfect Lives

To all you WONDERFUL (twat) instagrammers and your perfect lives

I would like to write to you from all of us normal parents out there. This blog has been inspired by the response to my previous post so for once isn’t just my opinion being forced upon you.

Well done. Well done for your perfect hair and your perfect pout. And those perfect children and houses are in a league of their own.

But. Come on!!! It’s not real. You have nannies, you have chefs, personal trainers and cleaners. You aren’t real. Your life you are so keen to show the world isn’t real. And if you want to show us all how it can be done and how easy it is you have failed miserably. All you actually succeed in doing is making us feel like shit.

Don’t get me wrong, some instagrammers and bloggers are brilliant. I love Celeste Barber, Constance Hall and Hurrah for Gin. I also love Tamara Ecclestone because she doesn’t pretend to not have help and she’s not ashamed of it.

Please show us when you are puking in the toilet because you drank too much wine after a day of your kids being little shits. Show us your nannies and chefs. Show us you telling the nannies to take your kids out of your sight before you throw them down the stairs. Show us your surgeons. Don’t pretend you do it all yourself and we are failing by not keeping up.

It’s not fair to set unrealistic and fake examples for everyone else. Use your power and influence to help people feel good about themselves. You only drank one glass of wine to get you through to bedtime? Well done you! You only lost your shit 3 times today? Fucking good going. You only looked at Facebook 5 times when your kids were crying? You’re a legend!

Followers you can help. Stop following the fakes. Follow the real ones and sack off the tits.

You’re doing great. And if anything they are miserable which is why they show you a fictitious life. Their real one is shit xx

While writing this my daughter climed on my lap and gave me a kiss and said ‘I love you mummy’. I would have missed that if I was tidying the kitchen which I momentarily considered doing.

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