Today Michael, I shall be… THE INVISIBLE MAN!!!
I feel like I am portraying a very accurate perception of the Invisible Man on Stars in Their Eyes (classic series not the shit new one).
Here is how my afternoon has gone:
You need to have a nap.
No. I don’t want to.
Please, allow me to bribe / threaten you in anyway possible.
No. I’m not tired.
(You only have pink eye and are extremely emotional but no, definitely not tired).
OK, then you can help to tidy up before the school run.
No. I’m busy.
We got to school with minimal dramas (unless I’ve just blocked them out of my mind) but waiting in the playground, the small child runs off at every given opportunity making me look like I have no control (which I dont) in front of all the calm and collected mummies.
Walking home with extra kids in tow they now all decide Im the Invisible Man! They run off no matter how loud I shout and psychotic I look.
Someone stands in shit on the way home. While I’m checking shoes the child (mine obvs) lifts their foot and smears (what I hope is thankfully not shit) on my nose.
All I can think about is the botch hair job I got at the weekend and the fact that I have been told I look like Eminem… Brilliant time of year to try and get a hair appointment somewhere too…
I’m surprisingly calm but feel a little bit like I have just come out of a war zone. I am DEFINITELY having a glass of wine very shortly.
Fingers crossed I can make it through the next few hours in the countdown to bedtime with minimal dramas and a still calm mood…