10 More Things They Don’t Tell You Before Having Kids

1 – With a first child you want them to walk, talk and progress as quickly as possible, secretly competing with all your mummy friends. With a second child you want them to progress as slowly as possible, keep them in their cot as late as possible.

2 – You will put things in your mouth you would never have dreamed of. Found something on the floor? Chocolate or poop? Let’s see…

3 – 4.30am exists and is a reasonable time to get up.

4 – Having a wee by yourself with the door closed is not just unusual but a luxury.

5 – If someone makes you a cup of tea and entertains your kids so you can actually drink it while it’s hot they become a best friend for life. If they bring you biscuits to have with it you want to marry them.

6 – Not all kids sleep when they are tired. For some, being tired is the worst thing possible for achieving sleep.

7 – You will never wear clean clothes again and eventually not bother putting them on.

8 – When you are ill everything still needs done. You just have to get on with it while dying inside and questioning your life choices.

9 – Your acceptable levels of mess / hygiene dramatically reduce.

10 – You have no idea what is going on in the world with constant cbeebies and no radio because you have to listen to Mr Tumble party time in the car.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s