Is This It?

As the festive season draws to a close and normality resumes shortly, I find myself in a slightly worse mood and struggling to work out why.

I think I’m thinking, is this it? Is this all life has to offer me? I have everything; a lovely house, loving husband, two healthy and happy children, but I’m not satisfied. Am I just a spoilt brat?
I’m not looking forward to getting back into the day to day grind with having the kids on my own. And I think I’m jealous that Bob gets to have fun over Christmas then go back to work.

I want my own identity and my own life outside of the house. I want to have something that I am passionate about.

Sometimes I think I should have made more of life before kids, travelled more, got a career etc etc. But this is a waste of energy because a- I can’t do anything about it and b- I wouldn’t have done it anyway!

Maybe I should get a proper job. But what? I have no passions. There isn’t anything I REALLY want to do, except maybe become a doula (I’ll look into this) so I don’t see the point making changes to be no better off.

Perhaps I’m just on an end of festivities come down and tired from three weeks of no childcare or breaks from kiddy winks, this is the most likely option.

So I think I’ll head to bed to hide and I’m sure things will look better in the morning xx


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