To Holiday or not to Holiday…

Right people. I need your opinions…

I am fortunate enough to have been offered a free holiday for my family in July for two weeks for my dad’s 60th birthday.

Before I continue, I am in no means being ungrateful, I think it is an amazing opportunity and feel extremely lucky and privileged.

So, having said that, I am having doubts about the holiday. I am not sure my depression / anxiety or whatever it is can cope.

Here is my list of pros and cons :

Pros – A potentially amazing holiday in a fantastic place.

– The opportunity to see my brother who lives in Melbourne and meet his girlfriend for the first time who are meeting us there.

– A break from the normality and sometimes monotony of daily life.

– The chance for small cousins to spend time together.

– Sun, sea and sand.

– Sharing babysitting and some quality time with Bob.

Cons – My kids do not travel well or sleep well, and it is one hell of a journey.

– Last year on our holiday to visit friends in France it was amazing but took us a minimum of 2 hours to get the kids to bed every night (anyone who says when kids are tired they will sleep – I will punch you in the poon).

– My depression does not cope well out of the norm. For example, today I took the sprogs to Glasgow for my cousins little girls birthday party. It was lovely to see everyone but I found the whole day a bit overwhelming. The girls were actually brilliantly behaved but I was very anxious throughout the day and felt very relieved to get home and am now hiding under a blanket.

– If I can’t cope and find the journey / out of the norm too much, I’m worried I will ruin the holiday for everyone else.

What would you do? I genuinely want your suggestions. I am leaning towards going, with an open mind and hoping for the best. But days like today make me panic and think right now I won’t be able to cope. I really don’t want a big set back. But I really want to go…

If you think I should go, do you have any tips to make it more likely to be successful?

Xx

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3 thoughts on “To Holiday or not to Holiday…

  1. Dear Grumpy Mummy, I started following your posts because I have had PND myself and I could relate to some of your experiences. I have to be honest, I’ve found some of your subsequent posts quite concerning and disturbing and I have wanted to write to you for a while. You seem to be anxious about everything and little people are extremely sensitive to that level of anxiety so I feel they are very likely to be picking up on your moods both good and bad. Not sure how much time you have before this trip but it seems you are already “fretting” about it rather than taking the positive attitude and potentially making it an adventure for both you Bob and the children. There’s no point focussing on what has already happened that you can not change…. children change, they have good and bad days. Your children dont sound ANY different to any other children I have ever known. They don’t sound like bad children at all. Maybe motherhood is not what you were expecting (I felt the same for a few years) but you do eventually get you life and body back and your investment and sacrifices in their lives now is an investment in their future. I know it’s a well used cliche but they grow up so fast They will probably never thank you for it but you will know you have given them your best, fed and clothed them and kept them safe. You seem good at expressing your concerns and seeking help which is great. It’s not being a failure to admit that you are finding things difficult, any mother who at some stage hadn’t felt the same way you have at times is probably lying. Im thinking I’m probably a bit older than you and I travelled internationally with my two very active youngsters for quite a few years. We never had a bad journey because we always made it a big adventure that they looked forward to, we took lots of things to keep them active and busy on the plane but we did not stress about it either. They loved it! On one occasion I did give my eldest a sedative from the Dr but I hated doing it and felt so bad as he was drowsy for a further 24hrs, wouldn’t do that again nor recommend it (I still feel guilty about it). Mothers always seem to feel guilty about everything but it’s a choice you make (whether you feel guilty or not). Sounds like you need to “chill” more (I don’t mean by drinking in excess) if you are healthy both physically and mentally, they will benefit too and you will be better able to cope when they have their inevitable bad days, Do you feel there is a “root cause” for your own anxiety? Has something happened to you in your own childhood? Do you have a good counsellor in your area? (I’ve been down that route) and it’s important to shop around until you find someone you feel you can feel confident with, someone who will get to the very bottom of things and help you, someone who gives you the opportunity to explore your feelings in a safe environment where you can express your inermost thoughts and feelings. It’s exhausting so I recommend trying to get some respite afterwards if possible so you can re-charge your batteries and energy levels. Regards your trip opportunity, how fantastic and how lucky you are! It sounds to me that there are so many good reasons to go and that you are anticipating problems that might never happen. You might never get an opportunity such as this ever again and you never know it might be just what your family need? I think you need to accept that this is how children are, that you are doing your best and not beating yourself up when you think you got it wrong! Just move on and get on with it. Hopefully on holiday, your children will see you happy, chilled and relaxed and they will become what they see and follow the good example you set for them. Will there be other family there who can play with the children and give you some breaks? Good luck, stay positive and be happy, I hope you don’t mind my honesty, Hannah Jane x

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    1. Thank you hannah Jane, I do appreciate your honesty. Honesty is always the best way!! I know my children are normal happy kids, and most people are going through the same if not similar stuff themselves. I find it therapeutic to write about my strong feelings. I think your points on the holiday are very valid and I will certainly take them on board. I definitely need to chill more – I’m trying! I think there is a root cause Yes, but I am working on working out what it is. And yes I have a fantastic counsellor.
      Thank you for getting in touch xx

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  2. “Just move on and get on with it.” Mmmm. Not sure this is the most helpful comment to someone experiencing emotional health issues.

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